• Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
  • Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.
  • #australians: i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay
  • Canadians: We left Toronto 2 days ago, We are still in Ontario, food is scarce. We are lost, soon we will have to eat each other to survive, oh wait there's a tims we're good.
  • Russians: I was in Yakutia, I drove for twenty eight hours, now I'm still in Yakutia, I travelled by train for 6 days, I'm still in Russia. Don't even try to leave Russia. Don't forget: you're here forever. Accept it and suffer.

popularboyfriend:

wow i really like this song i think i’m gonna listen to it 1 maybe 60 more times

(Source: POPULARBOYFRIEND, via savingpeoplehuntingpie)

I’ve decided that because I dont like strawberries, they should be illegal for everyone

5by5kevin:

Roses are red
And true love is rare
Booty booty booty booty
Rockin’ everywhere

(via sanguineassasin)

  • mirror: mmm yasss you look so goooood
  • phone camera: you're ugly go to bed

caliifornication:

Wearing lace bras and panties makes me feel 100x hotter than I actually am

(via wonderfullywarped)

hobbitofthemotherfuckinshire:

OMG A GROUP OF FERRETS IS CALLED A BUSINESS AND IF YOURE NOT THINKING ABOUT A GROUP OF FERRETS RUNNING ABOUT IN SUITS MAKING CALLS ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET YOU’RE WRONG

(via trust-and-fear-not)

  • how to prepare for exams: cry

ingroan:

i need to get a real job so i can stop crying over expensive lingerie and start crying in expensive lingerie

(via sarabatikha)